What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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Justin Beiber

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Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

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What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

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xavier stop

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops