How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

What do you call a black guy in a prison? A warden. You racist.

A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

lipstick pig

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...