A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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How does shit taste?\ Good.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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weston cage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops