- Anti Joke

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

-8

Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

-8

How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

-8

Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

-8

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

-8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

-8

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

-8

Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

-10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

Elizabeth Warren

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

What's green and has wheels? a green car.

He walked in a bar

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

A seal walks into a club.

The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

Anti Joke

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