How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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what time is it? 3:16

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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What did the black man say to the young white woman during sex? you are a wonderful woman

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

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TOBUSCUS

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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