Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? Hi, my name is Chris.

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potatoes

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

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Guess what? The Game.

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Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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