What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

who did the strait guy marry? a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +4

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops