What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

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Please Rape William Wright

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

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a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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