A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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If you don't see any banners here, it doesn't mean they aren't here.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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What is white black and Chinese A panda

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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