How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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