Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What color is red paint? Red

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops