- Anti Joke

What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

What are we then hypocrites?

Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

Anti Joke

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