oooh look a banshee

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Illumati Confirmed

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the best rabbit for a black person?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Barbara Streisand

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

i have to pee out my ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops