Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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