Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops