I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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WNBA

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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