Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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potatoes

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

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Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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Why is it sad that a black guy died in a car crash He was my friend

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Your mama's so stupid... She scored below average on a recent IQ test.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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