What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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