Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops