- Anti Joke

Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA goes crazy and shoots himself

What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

Snooki

Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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