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Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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Gingers.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

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What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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