Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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