What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

who ever is reading this....

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

thumb_up thumb_down +1

there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops