3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

Q:What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A: A pilot you racist jerk...

Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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