A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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