What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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Vagina.

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

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Flop dog

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How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and an Indian man are all in the taxi when they were all killed in a car crash. Who was driving the car? The taxi driver.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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