In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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