How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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What's the difference between a duck?

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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