So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My daughter is dying of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the chicken cross the road? becasue he wanted to. also he didnt want to be involved in the holocost

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did Colussi miss 2 years of school? -Because he died

thumb_up thumb_down -32

this sentence will end in the way you expected.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops