Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Donkey lips

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +4

melon

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops