What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

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What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

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Two Irish men walks out of a bar

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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falling didnt make the difference

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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Women have the right to vote.

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a person smokes weed... and gets high

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

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Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

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joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

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Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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