What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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charlie sheen losing

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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