How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

vaginas are pretty!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Neither does he.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

penus

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

thumb_up thumb_down +23

2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Make little things count Teach midgets math

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops