I like colin but not as much as apple

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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h

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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