What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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