How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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*you're

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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Gingers.

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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