How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

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What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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this is not an anti joke

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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Mitt Romney penis

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The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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