Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

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How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

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knock knock who's there me i kill you

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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