When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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A man makes a sandwich.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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