what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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AJ enjoyed his trip to Pen Island

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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a blond girl walks into a bar

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

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how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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