What is a chair?

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

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who ever is reading this....

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops