I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +156

There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -76

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops