Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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