What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

thumb_up thumb_down +48

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +38

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a cow? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops