Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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