What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Justin Bieber

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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