What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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call of duty world at war

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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