What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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How are you this morning?

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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