I have no soul so I must consume yours

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Miley Cyrus.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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