What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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How are you this morning?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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A man buys free health care...

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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