What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the boy fall down? he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

thumb_up thumb_down

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -196

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +195

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops