Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

I have no soul so I must consume yours

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

There once was a man from Nantucket.

What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

boobs

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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