I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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