Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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i like cats

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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