So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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