whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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if you read this you are gay

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops