One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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Oh

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Arron Glass

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops