a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a man is shopping on black Friday...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops