A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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You

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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