Dont look at me.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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Society.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops