A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Hi

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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